My Feet, America, And Other Huge Things
by Silent-as-a-River
Summary: Nina Dunn decides to put her near impossible mission to order: Get a boyfriend. With help from her socially unexcaptable friends and a gay ? boy next door, maybe she'll succeed. Filled with laughs, retardedness, Sadness, Luff and peanut butter. Please RR


**A/N: HELLO MY PRETTIES! Thank you for wondering by. I hope you're not lost. Anywho's This is basically the American Version of Georgia Nicolson. It wont be exactly the same, no no. Nina, our little socially confused heroine, and her pack of 'friends, have their own little language. She has a diff family and she has a mucho diff love interst. Growl. So, please stick with me, and we'll see how this thing goes.

* * *

**

**A Note From Nina**

Hello, my chickens! It appears you've clucked your way into my journal. I dont know why. This could be considered stalking. I might sue you. Er...Whoever you are. Probably Madre, since she's always fluttering about in my Bizwitz. Well I'll let you know, there isn't any obscenities in here! Just social retardation and stolen lip gloss. But no need to worry on about that.

Anyway! My name Is Nina Dunn, and I am a proud, fourteen year old...er....something. Maybe a voyager (not the car, numbnuts!) I don't exactly excel in the academic department, especially not math. Shudder. But I'm an all round jolly ol' chicken with a nack at fixing blubbery situations. Sure, I can't handle seriousness very well, nor drama...which I guess would fall in the seriousness catagory. Oh shush it. Anyway, Im the one who cracks a joke when Nanna dies. Not always the best thing....

So, enjoy reading this exciting log of embarrassing situations and crap attempts at humor! All my love to you stranger chickens!

- Nina

* * *

Chapter 1: Pet Smart or Pets Mart!?

**Wednesday, April 21, 6:46 P.M.**

Ooooh the terrible mistake that is my life. I've done absolutely nothing so far over spring break. Nothing!!

**5 second later**

Unless of course you count sitting in bed, eating icecream and chatting with strange internet stalkers. All on my Onesies might I add. Sigh. The tragedy.

**1 minute later**

Of course thats What I'm doing now. Sigh. This sighing thing getting old.

I suppose I could always call on of my buds. But all Serina wants to do is type on her computer and all Katrina wants to do is go jogging or something equally ludicrous. I've been on the computer enough and the day I voluntarily run is the day my Mom admits she secretly wants to have Jake Gillanhal's babies.

**half a mili second later**

I was just about to shoot myself in the head, when Madre her self came erupting into my room.

"Wanna come to the pet store?" She asked, jingling her keys like a jingling thing in jingleville.

"YUSH!" I screamed, startling Madre and Tiki, my cat, who had been lounging on my chest. "Let me put on some socially presentable clothes."

"Fine. Hurry or I'll leave you here." She said, rolling her eyes in that mom-ish way. I quickly jumped out of bed, flinging Tiki across the room in the process. She hissed angrily and showed my her booty before tromping back to the computer chair.

**10 minutes later**

Well i was decently dressed if I do say so myself. I had left my black leggings on (A.K.A lounge wear.) and pulled on my short skull skirt and black t-shirt with ribbons up the back. I ignored the fact that my shirt smelt like dog. And I wonder why I find these things on the bottom of my laundry hamper! I completed the look with my pair of brown 'leather' buckled flats.

**5 seconds later**

Although my hair has decided to go off on its onesies in lala land. Sometimes my hair works awesome; I can style it rockstar-ish, cute, pretty etc. But now it looked like two squirrels had some sort of phyco dance rave in it.

**1 second later**

Not to mention the size of my feet. They were HUGE! IT was like a mammoth decided to amputate my feet during the night and give me his! Blarg.**  
**

**6 minutes later**

My Madre rambled on about something non important, driving like a mad woman as I clutched my arm rest. (or 'HOLY-CRAP-IM-GONNA-DIE!' handle as Hayley so amusingly refers to it)

**At the Petstore of Pets**

We've just pulled into the parking lot of Petsmart. This place drives me absolutely bonkers and beyond! Is it Pet Smart or Pets Mart?! The people in charge of the names seriously need to take a step back and evaluate their choices. Jeepers.

**Twelve decades later**

Good GOD my Mom takes for ever. She went on clucking to the guy in charge of the crickets, the one item we needed. He looked about seventeen and was shifting around uncomfortably, tugging his shirt collar and poking his acne. I wondered away, looking at the different fish and small foreign people they had in cages.

"Excuse me?" A snooty voice asked from behind me. I turned to see a lumpy lady, dressed in a blue shirt and beige khakis.

"Jya?" I replied amusingly. Lump lady was not amused.

"You are not permitted in this area." She sneered like a sneering lump on sneeer day. I looked her up and down, holding back a grimace, She really was quite lumpy. And she had that no chin thing where it just went from neck to mouth. She had a whole bunch of age spots on her face and her gray/brown hair was all frizzy and gross. Behind her her mile thick glasses were a pair of beady black eyes and the eyelid on the left drooped slightly. All in all, she was very Grodey.

"Why?" I asked in a very dignified manner.

"Persons under the age of twenty-one arent aloud near the exotic (Brown chicken-Brown cow) coral fish." She said in a hoity toity manner. Who did she think she was, being hoity toity? What, did she think she was some all Holley hoity toity manager of the fish kiosk? Psshhaaw.

"Okey Dokey!" I said all bright and happy. She blubbered a bit as I walked away, caring about her little speech as much as I cared about street gum. Which was zero.

**Sometime later. **

I slithered around the store for a bit, examining cat food cans and parakeets in a provacotive manner in case I ran into any Yum-yum's.

I was watching a rather interesting gerbil (not) when I saw the biggest man ever to walk the aisles of Petsmart. Blubber hung over every crevasse, oozing over his belt and jiggling around his chins. I noticed he was walking away from the cats section. Good lord! He must have eaten every cat over there. Just in case, I decided to go check.

**2 seconds later**

I may or may not have wanted to just see the cats as well.

**In the big glass cat room**

Its quite cozy in here...it also smells like pee. All the cats are in order, thank god. They are kept in this huge glass room and there is a constant buzzing noise all around me, like there is a little man in the ventilation system pretending to be a bee. O.O

**Petting Cats**

I pet some cats.

**5 minutes later**

Madre finally came to get me, droning on about me leaving her side and waisting time. I wasn't the one trying to make buddies with the underage dorkwad.

**Back home**

Madre invited me to watch a movie with her, but I declined since i was far to tired from my exciting pet store extravaganza. I decided to check my e-mail instead.

**1 hour later**

After listening to my mom cluck on and on about my needing to do laundry, i finally did.** Not that I new how to very well.**

**10 minutes later**

**In the wash room**

I stared at the washing machine, trying to figure out how the Buddha to work it. Hmm...Maybe if I turn this nob here and push that button there and then put the powdery stuff there.

After a few failed attempts, I got the machine going with clothes in. Just in case I ran away before it exploded.

**In bed**

Well i think today was a productive one. I got a new stalker, I saw a fat man and.....erm...thats about it. Oh well.

**5 seconds later**

Why am I in bed at 9 thirty during spring break!? Sigh. This is the depresso that is my life.

**10 seconds later**

I feel awfully lonely in this bed. All my kitty cat friends have gone off to romp in the night.

**1 minute later**

I've arranged my one thousand and five pillows so that theyare next to me, lined up to the length of my body. I then twisted up my longest pillow around my shoulders.

**4 seconds later**

For all of you confuzzled people, I did, indeed, just turn my pillows into the shape of someone with their arm around me. I'm pretty sure this is the furthest I sunk.

**2 minutes later**

It's actually quite nice. I wonder what it would be like with a real guy?

**5 seconds later**

Alright, thats it! I am officialy putting project; Get a Boyfriend to order.

**

* * *

Well, Chickens, Thats the first taste! Raview? Please review. Every Review saves a baby Unicorn.  
**


End file.
